a valentines note of honesty

I think we're all guilty of comparing aspects of our lives, whether it's 'oh she has nicer hair than me' to 'their relationship seems so much more amazing than ours' but notice that word? "seems". It's so easy to forget that what's posted online isn't always the truth, it can just be a rose tinted filter that's making it seem 100 times better than it is in reality. But this can drive us to find faults with ourselves, within our relationships, that aren't even there, you start thinking that your relationship is worth less and needs to change because it doesn't measure up to what others seem to have.

My first relationship was a fricking sh*t storm, but if you ever saw the photos online, you'd think it was written in the stars, that we were absolutely perfect for each other. I was looking back at photo's the other day and stumbled across the following comment.. 'your relationship is like something out of a movie', YEAH OKAY, if the movie was titled 'faking your ass off' then I'd agree (the faking part is accurate in more than one instance as well). We were living in each others pockets; we worked together, we then went home together, went to work together the next day, how we managed to not kill each other is a miracle really. We'd argue most days, we rarely agreed on anything if I'm honest and come the weekend, there would be an endless battle of whether we'd being doing what he wanted, or what I wanted. I think it's safe to say that we just weren't compatible but neither of us wanted to admit it for a long time. But then there would be that one day where as if by a miracle (or just pure exhaustion from arguing) we'd have a good day, and snap, on the gram. There goes a photo of us looking like we're the happiest we've ever been, it wasn't reality, it's what we chose to put out there, what we wanted everyone else to see. It's so easy to sit behind a screen, scroll though social feeds on your phone and make mental lists of what these people have in their relationship that's lacking in yours. But in reality, how do you know what's really going on behind close doors, it's very rare that things are exactly as they seem.

For example, take those super clean minimal images I put up on my IG, well thank god you can't see outside the borders because the rest of my room? I think a hurricane blew through? or maybe a racoon? who knows. What I'm saying is that people can portray things exactly how they want them to look, so sure a picture may be a great picture, but don't read in to it. That smiling capture is 1 second of the 365 days in a year.

Valentines is all about appreciating the people you love, whether that's someone else or whether you're dedicating the day to loving yourself, because hello yes, us single people don't disappear on valentines. Make it your rule this year to appreciate what you have this very moment instead of lining it up against the flurry of photos that make their way on to your feed. Yes, she got a pandora ring, oh look he swept her away on a romantic trip, but does that make your love any lesser than theirs? Of course not, the love you hold for someone is unique and can't, shouldn't, be compared to anyone elses.

Remember what you have is something that no one else does, stop comparing, and see what's already right in front of you.


photos by Michaela Tornaritis Instagram / Twitter / Website